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hey this is leo for actualized.org and in this episode i'm going to give you a list of 40 signs that you are neurotic and i'm going to help you to develop a really deep understanding and give you a definition a very rich definition of what neurosis is my sister-in-law she once asked me leo what do you mean by neurosis you use that word a lot neurosis but what does it really mean and that's a good question got me thinking actually got me doing some research because i do use that word a lot and it's quickly becoming one of my favorite words in personal development work why because it goes straight to the heart of most matters and most problems that people have in life neurosis is the thing that makes you miserable in life it's somewhat of a technical term comes from old school psychology back in the sigmund freud era but there's uh so many different angles that you can look at neurosis from you should be very concerned about what neurosis is and you should be very interested in studying this subject because this is the thing that is making your life miserable so here i'm going to give you a really rich definition of neurosis you're going to get a really solid understanding by the end of this episode of what it is and how it works but let's just start off right with the list the 40 signs that you are neurotic here we go anxiety obsessive thoughts compulsive behavior vague physical ailments such as chronic fatigue syndrome insomnia fibromyalgia or anything along those lines depression suicidal thoughts anger or rage social maladjustment for example if you're very very shy or maladjusted socially in other ways a history of dysfunctional relationships inability to work for whatever reason you know whatever story your excuse you have for why you can't work and go make a paycheck that's likely neurosis money problems that's its own category for example you're wasting your money or you don't have the ability to manage your money properly or maybe the opposite maybe you're tight-fisted very thrifty with your money like a scrooge type of person addictions of all kinds there are so many addictions you could potentially have virtually all of them are neurotically driven perfectionism if you need everything done to the letter exactly how you want it that's textbook neuroticism workaholism also an example of this stress if you're stressed all the time lying if you're a chronic and habitual liar that's neurotically driven restlessness if you can't sit still if you're always agitated overeating phobias of all kinds and paranoia being easily offended and very touchy sensitive and defensive do you find yourself being offended by people all the time or being offended by politicians or being offended by religions or being offended by violence or whatever else goes on in the world constant criticism and blaming of other people constant criticism and blaming especially of your family your spouse or your children this is textbook neuroticism preaching and moralizing how much of that do you do do you tell other people how to live their lives especially maybe your children or your spouse that's textbook neuroticism also arguing and stubbornness do you find yourself in heated debates with people all the time either at the dinner table or at work with co-workers or in some discussion forum on the internet or some comment section under a youtube video well that's all neurotically driven narcissism neediness and codependence in relationships like needing love needing compliments needing approval and validation needing people to like you jealousy and envy are you constantly worried that your partner or spouse is going to cheat on you or you're envious of what your neighbor has what kind of car he got or how much money he earns or maybe your co-workers guilt and shame oh man this is a huge one this is one of the biggest signs of neurosis is when you're guilting yourself all the time about keeping secrets do you have some big secrets that you can't disclose to anybody like you got some skeletons in your closet well that's classic neurosis also manipulation do you like to scheme and manipulate people especially those close to you like your girlfriend or your boyfriend or a co-worker or a boss or a family member having enemies do you have some enemies some people you really hate some people you just despise that just make you seed with with hatred uh that's neurosis that's not normal playing victim do you feel like a victim in life like you just can't do it you can't lose the weight you can't quit your drinking problem you can't get a raise you can't improve your situation you can't move to a new city because you have all these reasons and excuses for why you can't that's neurosis a stiff rigid body do you find your muscles and your body always stiff to the point where you have muscle aches and pains and maybe back pain that kind of stuff are you finding yourself inflexible like you can't bend down and touch your toes it's often caused by neurosis sexual dysfunctions of all kinds are caused by neurosis also sexual repression are you sexually repressed are you uncomfortable with seeing yourself naked are you uncomfortable with other people seeing you naked are you uncomfortable with your sexuality all of that and more is all neurosis are you vindictive do you like to get back at people do you like to plot against people when they've done you wrong that's neurotic also nihilism are you a nihilistic person like do you believe that life is pointless and meaningless and everything is is just is pointless because we're all gonna die anyways that's neurotic alcohol and drug addictions of course neurotic gossiping is neurotic having no sense of humor this is a good one i like this one most people don't think about this but you know those people that are very anal that take everything too seriously they take themselves too serious take life too seriously these are classic neurotic people and lastly are you obsessed with your physical appearance are you checking yourself out in the mirror all the time are you worried about how you don't have hair or you don't have the kind of nose you want or the face you want or you're at the right weight level or whatever you're always worried about how you look that's neurotic any of those sound familiar ring some bells well they should because you are neurotic i guarantee you that you are so that was the list now what i want to do is i want to start moving into talking about actually what neurosis is what's causing all this what's at the center of all this and i started doing some research and i ran across some work by alexander lowen who's a really brilliant psychologist and he's a he's a doctor and he's done a lot of work in the field of psychotherapy and he has some really interesting theories some really deep i was shocked by his uh in-depth discussions very insightful discussions very eye-opening discussions of what neurosis is so what i'm going to do is i want to read you actually a couple of uh really juicy excerpts from some of his books so here we go quote he says the neurotic individual is in conflict with himself part of his being is trying to overcome another part his ego is trying to master his body his rational mind to control his feelings his will to overcome his fears and anxieties though this conflict is largely unconscious its effect is to deplete the person's energy and destroy his peace of mind neurosis is internal conflict the neurotic character takes many forms but all of them involve a struggle in the individual between what he is and what he believes he should be every neurotic individual is caught in this struggle end quote sound familiar good let's keep going i have another excerpt from him which is real juicy he says quote unable to face his pain and the anger to which it gives rise the neurotic individual strives to overcome his fears anxieties hostilities and anger one part of him seeks to rise above another which splits the unity of his being and destroys his integrity the neurotic person struggles to win over himself in this of course he must fail failure seems to mean submission to an unacceptable fate but actually it amounts to self-acceptance which makes change possible to the degree that most people in western culture are struggling to be different they are neurotic and since this is a fight one can't win all who engage in the struggle will fail strangely though through acceptance of this failure we become free of our neurosis end quote sound familiar good let me give you one final snippet which is real juicy listen to this i love this quote neurosis is not usually defined as fear of life but that is what it is the neurotic person is afraid to open his heart to love afraid to reach out or strike out afraid to be fully himself more life or feeling than one is accustomed to is frightening to the person because it threatens to overwhelm his ego to flood his boundaries and to undermine his identity end quote oh man that last sentence is so important threatens to undermine your ego to flood your boundaries and to undermine your identity that's what living a full life entails and that's the thing that you're always trying to resist because that's kind of the ego's job so that was alexander lowen now what i want to do is i want to take this understanding of neurosis that we're developing and just kind of go deeper with it and give you a even richer definition by citing some other sources and then just giving you some of my perspectives on this we're going to take a look at neurosis from multiple perspectives so that you can kind of see the intersection of all these different perspectives it's quite powerful wikipedia has a really nice quote that i liked and it said this it defined neurosis as follows a distorted way of looking at the world and at oneself which is determined by compulsive needs rather than a genuine interest in the world as it is an interest in the world as it is not as you need it to be really important how many times do i tell people that you got to be detached in an intimate relationship and then when someone hears about that of course what they retort with the objection they have is they say but leo if i don't need to be in a relationship why would i even be in a relationship at all and that right there is just the epitome of neurosis right because the assumption there is that if you don't need something then you can't have it in your life or it shouldn't be in your life or you wouldn't want it in your life it's like your whole life is run by needs and not by wants which is really twisted it's like you've been so neurotic for so long that you don't even know any other way of being kind of screwed up don't you think and that doesn't just apply to intimate relationships it applies to all sorts of things in your life another definition of neurosis i really like is from brad blanton he's a psychologist and therapist and he defines it this way quote it is essentially a refusal to accept what is happening in the present a neurotic is a person who incessantly demands that life be other than what it is end quote that's a really good one fundamentally it's just a denial of reality is what neurosis is it's an excessive demand that things should be different than what they actually are reality should be this way or it should be that way or she should do this or he should do that or i should earn more money or i shouldn't be sick or my kids should be smarter or they should get good grades or something else in my life should be this way or my shoes shouldn't be dirty or the dog shouldn't be making a mess in the in the house right all of these shoulds everything should be this way you know taxes should be low and government should give me all these benefits and my boss should respect me and people should like me and i should be financially secure and my retirement should be guaranteed and my health care should be provided for and my children shouldn't be endangered and on and on and on this list goes this list applies not only to reality but also to yourself and in fact this is the biggest crime you commit right here is not just a denial of reality but a denial of yourself self-denial denying who you actually are and trying to be something else than what you are this is called a self-acceptance rate it's a lack of self-acceptance the neurotic person does not accept himself this is completely unacceptable it's unacceptable to accept stuff this means disowning parts of himself vilifying parts of himself like parts of him are evil like lying is evil and cheating is evil and being mean to people as evil and this and this and that notice that for the neurotic not only are there certain positive ideals that should be in place but there's also a strong resistance and vilification of the negative ideals it is a problem when you have negative ideals in a sense like when you tell yourself that lying is evil and you know murder is is evil it's the most horrific thing leo how could you even how can you even consider the idea that murder is not evil is this kind of attitude it's this kind of rigidity that this person takes on because see this rigidity that you have it's a way of being it applies in very subtle levels on how you treat yourself how you think of yourself and how you treat other human beings and how you treat situations you might get into a grocery store and there's a long line at the grocery store and you tell yourself well this is stupid why is there 20 people in this line why don't they have more of the lines open and so you get into this kind of fuming rage about how the line should not be this long in yada yada yada yada you have all sorts of laws and rules that you've created and now you act like the rule keeper making sure that everyone abides by these rules and of course you tell yourself belia no no you don't understand this is necessary i need to tell my kids that they need to clean their room they have to clean their room and they can't lie leo they can't be liars and my daughter she can't be a [ __ ] you want my daughter to be a [ __ ] leah what are you crazy these things are like rigid rules these are these have been set by god these have been set by societies have been set by parents all these demands what happened was that when you were growing up you picked up all these demands and all these rules and all these laws largely unconsciously without you being even aware of it you didn't even know you had an option you just absorbed all these like a sponge because you didn't know any better and now you try to live by them and especially if you've uh been religiously religiously raised or educated you have a really big problem with this because you've been moralized to your whole life by the church and by your parents but see the thing they didn't tell you is that this takes away your freedom and that this makes you neurotic highly highly neurotic and actually highly immoral and highly irreligious this is the exact opposite of what religion is meant to make you but you know in uh in our society the way religion is twisted in on itself it produces the exact opposite effects of its intended original meaning you know i don't know about jesus i don't know who he was when he was what he was or if he even existed but i can guarantee you this if he was enlightened which uh all evidence suggests then he was anti-neurotic he didn't have any rules by which he lived his life you understand this this is really hard for religious people to understand enlightened people are completely free they have no rules by which they live their life now see the moral person what he says well he says but leo if he didn't have any rules how come he didn't just go out and kill babies as if that's what you need to not kill babies is you need rules handed down to you from the church see that um that's the lowest level of morality that exists that kind of morality the highest levels of morality have no rules no principles no laws no commandments and no one's going to punish you they're all intrinsic they come from the inside from understanding what reality is from being conscious from being aware see a conscious a highly conscious individual does not need a bunch of rules they know how to behave they don't need to discipline themselves really harshly they know how to behave simply through sufficient awareness now the people who are lazy and don't build up sufficient awareness and they have low consciousness what they need is they need a bunch of rules but see these rules are so rigid that they inevitably backfire on you and uh one bitter pill that you're gonna have to swallow if you've been living this kind of very rigid lifestyle is that man if you want to advance forward and you want to really develop yourself to high levels and you really want to develop your morality and your ethics and you want to become a really good decent human being then you need to start abandoning all those rules which leads me to the next point a neurotic one way to look at a neurotic is someone who clings to beliefs and to identity fundamentally why is an erotic neurotic because he's cling to beliefs and he finds safety and security there and he's really afraid to abandon those and to live life freely because he thinks leo if i just abandon everything if i have no principles or anchors to guide me then i'm just going to be a devil how am i going to live this freedom is going to destroy me that's the neurotic sphere and so instead what he does he becomes a ideological fundamentalist and he has a certain dogma that he advocates that he preaches to everybody else he needs everybody to believe in his dogma to not question his own dogma too much because it's important it's the truth this is how it is there are no alternatives why does he tell himself that and others he tells others that as well he has to because this is the only thing that like anchors him if he loses that then he's completely lost because he hasn't developed the ability to actually utilize freedom responsibly and consciously a neurotic is also very often lost in monkey mind arguing in his own mind with what is and how things ought to be other than what they actually are do you have that think about it how much time during the day do you devote to having internal dialogues and arguments about how the children shouldn't be this way and the husband shouldn't be that way and my my boss shouldn't be this way and the school officials the professor he shouldn't have done this and and then also you apply to yourself too it's like well i shouldn't have i shouldn't have gone partied and drinking on friday night you know that was so stupid of me and i shouldn't have uh you know i shouldn't have uh not prepare for that test you know i should have prepared for that test i wasn't i wasn't uh responsible enough i didn't prepare for that test and i shouldn't have eaten that dinner yesterday that was a terrible unhealthy dinner now i feel so bad about eating that these kind of arguments this is the epitome of neurosis when you're having these in your mind and think about just how many of those you have on a regular basis that right there is just sapping all the happiness and joy out of your life if it continues long enough over years and decades it either turns you into a perpetual victim who can't get anything out in life or somebody who's just very angry and bitter at the whole world or someone who's so depressed that they want to shoot themselves another way to look at neurosis is emotional avoidance again fundamentally what you're doing and the reason you're becoming neurotic is because you're avoiding emotions why would you avoid emotions well because emotions are hard to predict you can't codify rules of emotions emotions just come there's a loss of control with emotions both the good emotions and the bad emotions so a neurotic person becomes this anal retentive puritanical person like the puritan can't have fun has a stick up his ass doesn't feel very high doesn't feel very low tries to avoid all emotions his heart is encased in a three foot block of concrete and so he doesn't really love he doesn't really fear fear or sadness or any of these things he tries to protect himself from all that and this is fundamentally as alexander lone said quote a fear of life you fear really living life is an emotional game it's not a logical game it's not an ideological game it's not a rational game it's an irrational emotional game and boy a lot of you rationalists out there who fancy yourselves very logical and scientific minded this is your greatest weakness right here is that in your logic and your rationality you avoid emotions and you put logic above emotions when in fact logic is way down the list what really runs your life are emotions but from the neurotic person what he tries to do is he tries to control emotions with logic in the same way that you take a horse and then you strap it into uh into all its gears and rigging and you strap it to a carriage and now you think that you've got the horse under control except of course this horse never gets tame this is a wild horse and so it drives you crazy your whole life you're trying to control this horse and it never goes wherever you want it to go because this was a wild horse that you've tried to just uh enslave and it doesn't work and drives you crazy drives a horse crazy but see this is all going on inside you so you're internally conflicted you're always in battle with yourself except what's real bad is that you probably don't even recognize this is happening this is an unconscious conflict that's what's going on here largely unconscious conflict and you don't know why you hate life or why you're miserable why you're frustrated or why you keep failing to get into good relationships or why you keep failing in business or why you keep failing to lose weight and all this kind of stuff why you failed to find the right man or to find the right woman for you well because you have these very deep structural unconscious conflicts and because you're so rigid with your belief system there's no possibility for there to be an opening for light to shine in there and it just festers and gets worse and worse and worse quite tragic quite tragic that's why raising your awareness is one of the most important things you can do if you want to self-actualize and grow as a human being there are no highly developed human beings who have low awareness it's not possible another way to think about neurosis is self-sabotage are you frustrated with your self-sabotaging behavior maybe you're an artist and you self-sabotage your work or maybe you get into relationships or marriages and you sabotage those and it's consistent like there's a pattern of it and what's really scary is that you can see the pattern happening it even becomes conscious you see the self-sabotage happening maybe with food you keep getting on diets but then you keep self-sabotaging you keep seeing this and you can't stop it you don't know how to stop it because you're looking at the surface of things you're not going down to the very roots of your neuroses and so you might start one business and fail and go into bankruptcy then you start a next business the next business the next business and you think that well what don't i understand about business but see it's probably not a business problem it's a problem that's much deeper in your psyche it's a much more fundamental problem probably you're not accepting reality you're not accepting yourself and so on and so forth and you get caught in these kind of vicious cycles of flailing around you flail around in your relationship and then you flail around some more in another one and another one and you just kind of flail around you think something's going to happen something's going to improve but the more action you take the more you self-sabotage so action isn't the solution for you you need to shine awareness into the problem rather than just blindly take action and this is where a lot of neurotic people go wrong and here's another perspective at which to look at and define neurosis neurosis can be seen as forced action the neurotic person thinks he can use his will to brute force his way into the solution without understanding the deeper issues involved he thinks that he can just use harsh self-discipline to accomplish the job and to live life so anytime that you're not getting the results you want as a neurotic what you do is you say okay i'm buckling down even more i'm going to apply even more willpower this time this time i really mean it and if i don't carry it through i'm gonna i'm really gonna stick it to myself and so you develop this kind of self-flagellating very harsh self-discipline and this creates uh a rift inside of you you break integrity with yourself because you develop this pattern of not being able to actually trust yourself when you create a goal or you have a vision for something you want to accomplish in in your life you know you've got a history where you do not accomplish goals unless you beat yourself to death with fear and with guilt and so you try to use this negative motivation to to get to high places in life and it doesn't work it can work to some degree but it only gets you so far it doesn't get you to the really good stuff in life you can't really self-actualize using that kind of approach so action isn't always the solution sometimes requires turning inward that's why you self-sabotage that's why you can't change your patterns is because you're trying to turn outward for outward solutions all the time well you know what the deepest solutions are inside you and you don't know how to turn inside leo how do i turn inside what does that really mean well that's why you're neurotic that's why you're [ __ ] up because you don't know how and that requires some real deep study that's not something i can just explain to you in five minutes i've shot over 100 hours of video on these topics and i still feel like i've just started scratching the surface this requires a real commitment to wanting to understand yourself to find your authentic self to love yourself see the fundamental problem with this harsh self-discipline approach is that you're really you're not accepting yourself you're not loving yourself you're not being kind or compassionate to yourself and then of course you can't be kind or compassionate or loving to other people if you can't be that way towards yourself so that's another perspective for you right there and finally to kind of sum up this definition two really easy ways to think about neurosis when i say neurosis that i call someone neurotic usually i just mean it as dysfunctional neurotic and dysfunctional i use quite synonymously although there are some differences but that's a good nutshell way to put it and then perhaps my favorite nutshell for what neurosis is is ass backwards it's living life ass backwards that's what you're doing rather than turning inward you turn outward rather than accepting you're rejecting rather than surrendering you're always fighting see the the most unacceptable thing to the neurotic is to actually surrender to surrender to truth to surrender to reality surrender to what is he can't accept that that's unacceptable to him it needs to be otherwise and there's always of course good stories for why it needs to be otherwise and why leo i can't believe you and leo i can't do what you're saying because if i did then xyz would happen in my life there's a lot of real good stories and lies in your mind about why why this is but those are the things that need to be really inspected with your awareness to get clarity and truth around it so does all this sound familiar ringing some bells i hope so because you are neurotic you are neurotic you might wonder at this point well what's the opposite of neurosis what's the alternative is everything neurotic is everyone neurotic no not everyone a lot of people are but not everyone and it's not the only way to live life there are alternatives what's the opposite of neurosis well i'm glad you asked it's peace of mind that's it peace of mind and what is peace of mind peace of mind is being happy with exactly what is not what you want not what you think should should be but what is now this might sound kind of funny even contradictory coming from me because you're probably thinking like well leo what do you mean what is what happened to self-actualization and growing yourself and becoming this ideal person and all this you want to be careful about that you got to be careful about that and i've been guilty of that myself is approaching self-actualization with a neurotic frame of mind like there's some ideal you got to get to this is one of the paradoxes of personal development is that at the same time you have to accept yourself exactly as you are and reality exactly as it is and then also you gotta be committed to growing and improving and getting more authentic but not in a neurotic way it can be difficult to to swallow that hard to reconcile that takes a while it takes a lot of study to start to get your mind around that little brain twister right there but let's get back to peace of mind i don't want to get too far off track here what you really crave secretly crave from life is you crave peace of mind if only your mind could be still and just give you some peace you could just ah just relax and enjoy your life a little bit for a few seconds that's what you really want except see your neurotic mind is going about it all backwards because to actually get peace of mind you have to do a 180 your strategy has to change completely this is a very counterintuitive thing the reason people don't have peace of mind and happiness is because it's extremely counterintuitive it's not what you would typically think you'd need to do to get it most people turn outward and that doesn't work so how do you get it the most direct way is enlightenment check out my enlightenment videos spiritual enlightenment i got some great videos on that topic it's an advanced topic but it's the most direct way to get there and the second most direct way is self-actualization work what does self-actualization work everything on this website everything on my youtube channel over 100 hours of content on how to do self actualization all of the stuff in my videos if you follow it generally speaking it will make you less and less neurotic over time it will make you more accepting of reality and yourself as you are in an ironic way because you know in a lot of videos i tell you to change and be this way and don't be that way and it seems like kind of like i'm telling you not to accept yourself because usually i'm stressing um this component of taking action you know but there's also a component of self-acceptance so that's kind of what i'm stressing now and this is going to be weird for you you're not going to want to accept both these things at the same time you have to you have to though if you want to really grow make no mistake that if you're not enlightened then you are neurotic there's no way you can not be enlightened and not be neurotic because without enlightenment you fundamentally misunderstand what reality is and so quite simply you can't align yourself with reality when you don't understand what reality is you also can't align yourself with your authentic self when you don't understand who you authentically are really like absolutely existentially this issue goes very deep and i don't have enough time to cover all the existential issues here right now so um go check out some of my other videos for more depth on this so uh yeah you are neurotic the only question is to what degree are you neurotic some of you are neurotic to extraordinary degrees to the point where no one can even be in a relationship with you or to the point where you can't even take care of yourself you can't even feed yourself can't even wake up in the morning get out of bed on time some of you like that some of you are generally successful and pretty good and maybe you even earned six figures and so forth um but you're still quite goddamn neurotic which is why you're not fulfilled with your six figures and your seven figures and whatever however many figures you make and however many houses you have and how many you know girlfriends you have and all this it doesn't really make a difference because you still got those neuroses in there that you got to go take care of so what do we do about all this what's the action step well hold up there with the action this is more about consciousness it's more about awareness so what i propose here is that you make some commitments right now say the following words that i'm going to say do it with me i want you to commit to some of the stuff you've heard about here if you feel like you're tired of being neurotic and you want to change this then here's a good way to do it make the following commitments which i want to help you to make i'm going to say them first then you repeat after me there's going to be about five or seven lines that i want you to repeat this is going to be good for your mind drill it right in there all right so first thing i want you to say is the following i am neurotic repeat after me go i am neurotic good say it like you mean like you really realize like you learned something about yourself here hope you have now the next one i'm gonna say it then you're gonna say it i commit to discovering the roots of my neuroses go good now the next one i commit to aligning with empirical reality go good now the next one i commit to dropping all socially acquired beliefs go good now the next one i commit to being more open to all emotions go good now the next one i commit to loving myself and my life go good now the next one i commit to dropping my should statements my shoulds all those things you tell yourself you should stop doing or you have to keep doing ready go good the next one i commit to gradual self-improvement gradual is the key word ready go and lastly say this with me i commit to not being neurotic about my self-improvement ready go all right awesome good job i hope you did that if you haven't go back and do it rewind it and do it and now i'm going to give you your final assignment pull out a piece of paper take out a pen and i want you right now after this episode is over to sit down quietly and to think about and write down your top five neuroses what are your top five neurotic behaviors make a list one through five and once you've got that list then what you do is you ask yourself what's the rock bottom root cause that's motivating this behavior what's the rock bottom root cause that's motivating this behavior don't be satisfied with a surface level explanation it's not just because you want someone to marry or you want more money in your bank account that's not a good enough reason go deeper what about you do you have to believe what about reality do you have to believe that's motivating you to be neurotic here dig deep all right get awareness over these these things get to the very root of your neuroses all right i'm signing off please click the like button if you'd like to support actualize.org help by submitting your feedback and clicking those buttons also post your comments down below share this video with a friend and then finally come check out actualize.org the website got a lot of cool content on there some exclusive content i've got a cool course on there i've got a book list on there i'm releasing new videos every single week i have a newsletter there for free which updates you every single week with all the stuff that i release stay on board sign up i hope you can see that you know this commitment that you just made to gradual self-improvement this takes time and the biggest problem you're going to have you're going to fall off track so the biggest value that i can provide to you with actualize.org not only just giving you some of this you know really deep information which you do need and i'll be giving you more of that but also just keeping you motivated keeping you inspired keeping you on track so you don't forget about this because if you stay on track for just a couple of years i know you're going to start to see amazing results i get feedback from um from clients and from just random strangers online and even um you know random strangers that meet me on the streets and in restaurants i get feedback from how their lives are changing by following some of the stuff that i say so it does work stick around it's not magic but it really really can change your life over the course of several years so this is the most important thing i think you can be doing with your life so anyways sign up stay tuned and i'll see you soon